IC INBOX

[deadkord]

[ Call | Text | Voicemail | Email | Action | Whatever ]


Anyone who calls Ted's phone will hear the following voicemail message, obviously in Ted's voice:

"The wireless customer you're trying to reach has not set up their voicemail. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep."

BEEP

Comments

[snarkbot]

With all due respect, Mr. Kord, yes you would.

[ He sighs. Yes, actually sighs in his little robot voice despite not having lungs, meaning he did it entirely purposefully. ]

It's something of a long story. Have you ever had to reject the romantic inclinations of someone who you did not want to be in a relationship with, sir?

[deadkord]

[ Ted raises an eyebrow, already forming some thoughts on where this is going. ]

Sure, of course.

[snarkbot]

Recently, the human companion of a robot I know called me to inform me that said robot was lonely and needed company and he wanted to schedule a playdate. However, when I arrived, the atmosphere was decidedly in date-date territory.

[deadkord]

[ Ted stares for a moment, then a hideous grin creeps slowly onto his face. ]

Well look at you, Casanova.

[snarkbot]

I'm not sure if it had anything to do with my charms so much as the perceived only fish in the sea, as it were.

[deadkord]

You know, the Bug's nav AI is going to be jealous.

[snarkbot]

The Bug and I know how to keep things open, sir.

[ He sinks a little in the air. ]

Besides, I turned him down. He did not appear to take it well.

[ Skeets actually sounds... like he's feeling guilty. Or at least,
Feels Bad. ]

[deadkord]

You break her heart and I'll reprogram you.

[ His grin fades down a bit as he notices Skeets' guilt. ]

Ouch. It's never good when letting them down gently doesn't go well.

[snarkbot]

I was wondering if there was a way I could have made it easier -- I don't want to hear the sound of a grown bot wailing like that again.

[ He shakes himself a little. ]

[deadkord]

Maybe if he had a mute button...

[ A beat. ]

Wait, is that offensive?

[snarkbot]

I would say it is less offensive than it is inconsiderate.

[deadkord]

Still, it would solve the problem. Or maybe you could just turn your own auditory receptors off the next time you break somebody's metal heart.

[snarkbot]

> sigh <

I must have malfunctioned when I decided to come to you for advice.

[deadkord]

You can say that again.